Dave Hughes

Dave HughesAfter a career in stand-up that shows no signs of slowing and successful stints both on TV with The Glasshouse and radio as part of NOVA Melbourne’s breakfast show, Dave Hughes must be one of the busiest comics in Australia. After an unsuccessful career with women and an unsuccessful career at having a career (many of his early jokes were about dole queues), Hughesy can now write his own ticket. With a few live albums and a DVD about to come out, Black+White chats to this multimedia comic superstar.

What’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you at a show?

The only time I’ve ever lost it on stage was a number of years ago at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. There was a guy in the front row that was putting me off because he wasn’t looking at me. After awhile I said to myself ‘I’ve got to confront this guy’, so I said to him “Hey mate, I’m here, can you look at me?” And he deadpanned “I’m cross-eyed.” I had a giggling attack I couldn’t get rid of. I knew he was annoyed that I was laughing but I couldn’t stop for about ten minutes. I never explained it to the rest of the crowd because I didn’t want this guy to be offended.

You weren’t very successful with girls growing up. Now you’re famous are there hordes of screaming women chasing you down the street?

I do get noticed more. I was walking down the street once and a busload of schoolgirls yelled out ‘we love you Hughesy’. So I yelled back ‘Where were you 20 years ago?’ Very annoying.

When are we going to see the Hughesy Internet sex video?

Hopefully not for quite awhile. I have to work on my moves before I let something like that get out. Maybe it could be a special feature on the next DVD but I don’t think that would encourage people to buy it. More likely it would encourage them not to buy it.

What’s the best comeback for a heckler?

Hecklers can be good if they yell something out that you can work with. If they’re so drunk they don’t make sense that’s when your best comeback is always ‘security’.

What was your worst gig?

I did a gig in Edinburgh a few years ago. The room was described as the comedy abattoir, where a thousand comedians have been slain. [English comic] Ross Noble was giving me a pep talk before the show and I was thinking ‘why is he telling me to be calm and relax and not let it get to me?’ I walked on stage and before I even opened my mouth the whole audience was chanting ‘Fuck off Aussie fuck off’. That was a hard night to get through.

You reckon it takes passion to make it in comedy. Couldn’t you just sleep your way to the top?

I’ve never been able to sleep my way to the top. In fact I’ve never been able to sleep my way anywhere.

When will we see you in a naked spread for Black+White?

I’ve been a fan of B+W over the years and it’s fairly safe to say I’m not someone you’d target for a spread where my clothes are off. I’d get the sort of reaction I once got from a girl. I took my clothes off and she said ‘interesting’.

What’s your pornstar name [first pet, first street]?

Callie Examiner. That’s not too bad, I’ll go with that when I do my x-rated Internet video.

Huhesy’s DVD Dave Hughes Live is in stores now through Liberation Music.